Not Giving Up When I Could Have

How did I come to write the way I do? Why do I write it? The answers are: My Grandfather (Papa) and the passion I have for writing.

I started out with the start of a children's book when I was in junior high. Following that I tried my hand at writing poetry. Not that it was a bad attempt since I was young, but I did make the effort. Then life happened. My Papa had fallen ill and I was helping my Grandmother (Grams) with him. So...I postponed writing my YA novel. After I turned 22, he had taken a turn for the worse and I was even busier. Between the time I was at the hospital and dealing with things for my Grams, I "didn't have time" to write. Instead of making time, I threw in the towel for awhile and hoped that I would someday write that novel. Two months later he passed and I fell into a deep depression while trying to hold my Grams together. Then somehow I managed to pull my act together and begin that novel. It was a sort of stress reliever. I enjoyed it. It made me feel good and gave me a confidence that I had never known.

Two years later my Great-Grandfather (Pee-Paw) was stricken with a cancer that had spread through his body. The doctors couldn't treat it. So we placed him in hospice. They were wonderful but it didn't take away my pain or stop me from doing things for Mee-Maw and Grams. Yet again...I was stuck tending to my Great-Grandma (Mee-Maw) AND Grams. Here we go again. I was never going to be able to write that novel through all this tragedy. I couldn't. There wasn't any time. My dreams were once again put on hold, but I didn't care...well...I did. I just had to set my feelings about writing to the side. When I wasn't writing it was like not being able to breathe. The timing was so terrible...like someone's dying can ever be timed accordingly. Right? Don't get me wrong. I love my Papa and Pee-Paw. I wasn't ready to lose someone else. Not after my Papa died. Through my grief all I could think about was writing. Why at such a devastating time? The reasoning: I wanted to be taken from reality for awhile.

After my Pee-Paw passed I buried myself in my full-time job as an activity assistant in a local nursing home by day and eventually writing at night. There was something therapeutic about writing and it brought me back to my family. During this time there was a nagging in my gut and heart that told me I had to write. For awhile I resisted. That's where the 'eventually writing at night' comes in. If I didn't write, I would stop breathing. It was something I had to do. Pee-Paw and Papa wouldn't want me to be like this. They would be so utterly disappointed in me if I gave up on my dream.

I persisted. Thank God I did. Now I have 3 self-published books and am working on my 4th and 5th. The passion for writing was instilled in me by the people I love. I learned to believe in me. It's the only way to pursue the goals I set for myself. I didn't give up when I could have said, "Screw it. I'm done." But I didn't. I fought my way through the pain and overcame what could've brought me down forever.

Remake Of Classics

I am upset. No. I'm downright angry. They are remaking the 80s cartoon Jem and the Holograms. It isn't anything like the cartoon. Why would they do that? Granted, the kids today won't remember the 80s version. The thought of them doing a remake of a great cartoon...well...it angers me. This is one of my favorite shows as a child. What are they thinking? No one can make it better than the original. First it's Footloose, Dirty Dancing, and now THIS? Come on people. Why can't you come up with something original? Are people running out of ideas? Where did the creativity go? This is one of the DUMBEST ideas I've ever heard of. Jem and the Holograms with no Misfits? Really? How can they do that to those of us who know what's going to be missing? I hate that people revert to things already done instead of coming up with new ideas. As a writer, the ideas never stop. Okay. I think all writers use others/things as a sounding board so to speak, but we don't do the same thing or try to change what's has been done previously. My heart is breaking. The series was one of my favorites. What's next? The remake of Gone With The Wind? Seriously people. Don't become directors if you can't be more creative. The new version of My Little Ponies is even more upsetting as that was one of my favorite cartoons back in the 80s. These Hollywood screen writers have given up on creativity. All of this is a pathetic attempt at bringing history back. If they want to bring cartoons to life, fine. Just do it the right way. Don't take out the highlights of the story. All of this is just so wrong.

Rant over...for now.

My Grandfather: The Reason I Became A Writer

When I was little, I would sit on my Grandfather's knee and listen to him tell stories that he would make up on a whim and giggle at them. His stories were never boring. It wasn't the stories I remember so much as his light-hearted humor and the love he had shown me. He was the one who always told me I could be anything I wanted to be. I took that to heart because I know he meant it. I have always put my best foot forward because of him. If I give up after a failure, I still feel to this day that I would disappoint him. He's the reason I keep going. Every time I write a novel, I put a part of him in my characters. I think my Papa was one of the most creative people I ever knew.

"Life is meant to be lived and do the things you enjoy the most." This is one of the many pieces of advice he gave me while I was growing up. So, I took it and have applied it to my life. Granted, I used to write a little poetry and children's stories here and there as a child, but it occurred to me after he passed away that I should develop upon my writing skills. Because of him, I have become the writer/author I want to be and want to continue to pursue my dreams. I want to keep bettering my journey as a writer and myself as a person. 

It truly is amazing how much one person can impact your life and want you to make it better not only for yourself, but for the people you love. I know I want to be happy and do what I'm passionate about so that those around me can know the same kind of happiness. I want to teach others that you can be happy by following your heart and your dreams. If I can be that kind of inspiration to others then I have fulfilled part of my goals. May you all be as blessed as I have been.